10 things I know about finding your spark in a busy life

We’re massive fans of Karin from Calm to Conniption, and her column and now new podcast the Mummy Soul Sessions. She is a FIFO wife, a mum, and a provider of excellent advice when it comes to taking care of yourself. Here, Karin shares some tips on finding that lost spark.

1. Life doesn’t wait for you to sort your shit.

Have you ever used this line: “I can’t do {fill in the blank} until I have {fill in the blank with a million little procrastinating pieces}”? I catch myself still using it sometimes. Yes ok, some things do have a process. You can’t make a banana smoothie without bananas but you don’t need to grow the tree yourself. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a pause button. I realised that if I didn’t just get on with things I would be spending my days moping around because I hadn’t been able to “find myself”. What a waste of a day! Keep it simple, don’t waste your time feeling like you need a reboot.

2. You are not bound by the person you were 10 years ago, 10 months ago or 10 minutes ago.

Just because in university you swore you would never step back from your career to have a family doesn’t mean that now you are a stay-at-home mum with two kids you are a failure. I first heard this point at a conference and it really resonated with me as I am prone to throwing myself into a multitude of unrelated things. It made it ok that trying something new and discovering I didn’t actually like it didn’t mean that I had to keep it up. Release and move on, no need to think twice.

3. Why not?

Quite attached to my 2nd thing, ‘why not?’ is my third. Some people like to question things and look for the why in everything. I like to just give things a crack because ‘why not?’. I used to be one to talk myself out of giving my ideas a go. I had no experience. I was crazy. I was wasting my time because what if it failed. I was thinking too hard. That last one was true! Once I switched to ‘why not?’ (plus kept point two in the back of my mind) I followed the direction of my heart and let it guide me.

4. You are not expected to do it all yourself.

I am still a major culprit of having a tantrum because I have tried to fit 16 hours into 10 and surprisingly it hasn’t worked. Yes, you have kids to parent and care for, a house to run, whilst keeping your oxygen mask on with your own pursuits, hobbies or career but no one is putting all this pressure on to be perfect at it but yourself. There is no teacher with a gold star once you are done because frankly, no one else cares. Outsource, ditch things that aren’t serving you and stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do. Once a fortnight I have a cleaner come through the house and it is such a weight off my shoulders just to have that one thing taken care of. Taboo? Shamoo! I have a cleaner and I love her!

5. Cheer squads are the best but you have to be the Captain.

Having a supportive and understanding network of people around you is so important to achieve your goals. But no matter how large your squad is, if you are not the Cheer Captain, they will never make you happy. Accept compliments, take the spotlight when it is shone your way, and don’t duck and weave around conversations about yourself. Your voice is valid and w-o-r-t-h-y WORTHY! {pom-poms down}

6. Reassess your goal posts.

Dream big! Dream massive for sure but chasing those big dreams all day leaves me completely exhausted and anti-everything. I use a “vision board” for my big dreams but I keep my goals closer and achievable. I like things simple and just have around 4 annual goals that I keep in view on my office wall. Sometimes they end up on the fridge if Netflix-loving Karin starts taking over, just as a gentle reminder to put down the remote.

7. A calm mind makes a clear mind.

When there is a lot on my plate I find my mind starts get a little “Rain Man”. If I don’t write things down when I think of them my mind repeats it over and over again until I do it. It can get a little like peak hour at Times Square in there! I try to have a notepad close by at all times and I use my phone a lot more so I can release tasks or ideas out of my head to do at a more appropriate time. Once I clear out I then “defrag” by trying to squeeze a morning meditation in between sorting the kids out.

8. Find your tribe.

It is great to have the support of your Mum and Dad, siblings, partner, and friends but what really inspires me to keep going is surrounding myself with like-minded souls. They really get the ups and downs in what I do and when I find myself stuck on something they are a great sounding board. Your tribe will have your side and can be the best people to reignite a dwindling flame.

9. Buying self-help books is procrastination at it’s finest.

There is a pile of books beside my bed waiting to be read. At one point in my life, they were all firmly in the self-help category. Referring back to point 3, I once told myself I needed to read all the books because surely they will give me the answers I was looking for… Buying self-help books can be a form of procrastination. Sure they can spark something within you and create new patterns or ideas but you can’t rest all your hopes and dreams on Gretchen, Elizabeth, Kelly or Khloe’s shoulders. Yes, I am referring to Khloe Kardashian, I bought her book hoping to get fit… only to remind myself just reading a book is not going to get my ass on fleek!

10. Speaking of… get out of your own arse!

You aren’t going to spark your creativity, realise your dream or open new and rewarding doors if all you do all day is try to “find yourself”. Life is for living! Jump in and swim, you will find your current and island paradise by participating in life not reading a book about it.

How is your spark? Could you do with a bit of lighting up?


Written By

Karin at Calm to Conniption is a FIFO wife, mum of two little ones and is trying not to lose herself in a pile of dirty nappies and Duplo in-between. With lashings of sarcasm and humor, Karin tackles big world problems like candle maintenance, sandwich cutting and urine projection in boys.


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