If you’re a single woman, and are even contemplating dating, you will almost certainly have received some unsolicited advice. Many of your friends and family will have words of wisdom to impart on how to find a man, even if they haven’t actually found a man since 1965.
Part of being single is learning to smile and nod when people give you unsolicited advice. And, because I am all about helpful advice, I have listed some of the least helpful advice, so that you can be thoroughly prepared.
Worst Pieces of Dating Advice
- You need to get out there more.
‘Out there’ is a magical place, populated by attractive, intelligent, emotionally available single men, all of whom wish to date you. When questioned on the exact location of ‘out there’, most advice givers will gesture vaguely with their hands and mutter things like, ‘You know, meet people!’ Which is not exactly specific. Or helpful.
- It will happen when you’re not looking.
This advice is often offered when you have been ‘out there’ but haven’t met anyone yet. The theory, of course, is that you are now trying too hard, and need to get back ‘in there’ and stop looking. Your perfect man will show up when you least expect him. And if he isn’t showing up, it’s because you’re still expecting him so stop, okay????
- Your friend’s neighbour’s sister’s site
We all have a friend whose neighbour’s sister went onto a dating site and met the love of her life literally that afternoon! You must go on the site too, they beseech you. And it doesn’t matter that you’ve been on the site, or that other people you know have been on the site, or that you hate the site. It worked for your friend’s neighbour’s sister!!!!
- You need to look outside the box.
If you have been dating for more than a few weeks, at some stage you will be told that you are too fussy. You need to stop being so picky! Widen your parameters! Look outside the box! I’m not sure exactly what ‘box’ they’re referring to, but most single women are seeking someone whose company they enjoy, with whom they are compatible, and who makes them feel good. Sounds like a pretty great box to me.
- You need to manifest your perfect partner
Have you heard of the law of attraction? You need to think the right things if you want to find love. You need to believe to receive! And if you don’t receive, then you are clearly not believing hard enough! Which is weird, because for a long time I believed I’d find a new partner easily, and I didn’t. Go figure.
- You need to stop going on dating sites and get a hobby.
Hobbies are awesome. You should totally have hobbies. They will stimulate your mind, maybe help you to get fit, possibly even widen your social circle. But there is only one hobby that really will maximise your chances of finding a partner. It’s called ‘dating’.
- Go to the supermarket and put a banana in your trolley.
This signals to single men that you are available and relationship ready. Or perhaps it signals to single men that you like bananas? Either way, put one in there. Or a whole bunch. And then take them home and eat them. Bananas are delicious.
Kerri is the author of Out There: A Survival Guide for Dating in Midlife, available in print, eBook or Audiobook, or order online at https://www.booktopia.com.