I had a small birthday on Sunday. I turned 40.
I didn’t think it would bother me. But all last week, I was like a bear with a sore head. A bear with a sore head who was about to turn 40. Cranky arse.
I wasn’t so cranky that I was getting old – it was more that I had a different vision of what my life would be like by now. I thought I would have my shit together. I thought I would be living in a beautiful renovated Queenslander with an open-plan kitchen and bi-fold doors leading out to my large deck, which overlooks the sparkling pool and frangipani trees.
I’m not.
Instead, I am in a shitty rental house in a crappy suburb that I really don’t like – largely because I spent my entire thirties being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding, then starting again. And then I decided last year to change careers. So I’m very, very poor.
But you know what? I woke up on Sunday morning to the kisses and cuddles of a loving family. My darling Champagne Husby occupied the monsters children while I slept in and read the papers in bed. Then he had the children bring me French toast with bacon and mango (odd, sure, but delish, and the mango was from our very own tree). Then some of the most beautiful people in the whole world helped me celebrate. And Champagne Gillian even baked a cake and painted me the most beautiful picture ever – how freaking special do I feel!
We headed to A Day On The Green at Sirromet Winery, drinking Moet all the way, where I got to catch up with more great friends.
And I got to see You Am I – my absolute favourite band.
And they did this Bruce Springsteen song, with Paul Dempsey from Something For Kate, which made my freaking day.
And this career thing? If I stuck to what I was doing before – working as a communications adviser for big business – I would have the house and the deck and the frangipani tree by now. But I would never get to see them because I would be in meetings or travelling interstate all the time. I would never see my kids and I guarantee I wouldn’t be happy.
Milestone birthdays are useful because they help us take stock of our lives, but what I have discovered is that I have a beautiful family, some fantabulous friends and, although times can be tough right now, I feel like I’ve made the right career move for me. There are more important things than money – stuff like following your dreams and spending time with people you love – and I am glad this is something I am living and passing on to my kids.
Money will follow later. Surely. Right?
RIGHT???
If you took stock of you life right now, what would you think of where you’re at?
You don’t look a day past 20 you gorgeous creature! I’m glad you had an awesome day! Listening to You Am I and Paul Dempsey sing a Springsteen song must have been awesome. Wait til I tell my husband, he will explode from jealousy. It is always a tough decision to change careers, but it seems as though even if you’re poor and in a crappy suburb you’re still loving life and have realised what is most important to you. Funnily enough I’m working as a comms advisor for govt, so I’m currently unhappy and still poor … 😉 Happy birthday to you x
I spent 5 years in Qld govt Renee. I think we may have some chatting to do!
Sounds good! 🙂
You going to Glenda’s dinner? Hopefully will see you there. x
I got a reality check for my 40th….actually it was the day before. Being diagnosed with Cancer gave me a wake a call and switched on the “I’m going to live this life mentality”. I removed the negative in my life, (husband) and with my boys in tow I started on a new road. I was already bankrupt from a failed business so had a clean slate and owned nothing. Here I am, 44, financially stable, renting, dream job, heading back to Uni part time this year, healthy and happy!! It doesn’t matter how old you are….just live life to the fullest! (PS… I forgot to mention, i never turned 20, I just celebrated my 25th Anniversay of my 19th Birthday!!
Wow, Tracey, what an amazing story! So glad it’s worked out well for you and that you are living the right life for you now. That must have really been a huge shock. It sounds like you have dealt with it in the best way possible. Very inspiring! xxx
Happy Birthday!!! I used to freak about the exact same things until I realised the love from my children makes me wealthier than my wildest dreams!! Thanks to a bestie for pointing that out (who is also broke but surrounded by child-love)!
Thanks Jody! Ah, child love – it is pretty spectacular stuff. X
Me too! About to turn 40; a bit disappointed to STILL be living in the rental in the crappy suburb, but looking after littlies and very happy. And YES, money will definitely come. I have to believe that. 😉
Yes! I think when you have your priorities right, everything else falls into place. At least, I hope that’s how it works! Hope you have a great 40th! xx
Great post, Carolyn. And I agree with Renee, you don’t look 40 – at all! But what’s 40 anyway, just a stupid number with a 4 and a zero – the zero counts as nothing, so really you’re just 4 again! I don’t believe in the old saying that money doesn’t bring happiness (’cause it certainly can), but I have seen what the pursuit of money can do to families, and it ain’t pretty. You have 3 beautiful kidlets, a hubby who loves you to bits, and you’re a kick-ass writer – that makes you a very wealthy chick 😉 xo
Naw, thanks Katie, you lovely thing! I agree – life is about more than money (but money sure helps!). For now I am happy to have my priorities straight. And you know, I am 4 sometimes. I get quite shirty if I don’t get enough sleep. 😉
I’m 2 years away from 40 now, so it will be interesting to see where I’m at then. I’m already well in the process of the career change now, and setting up a business, so I’m hoping this isn’t going to send me broke. But regardless, I am still happier now than I was 2 years ago when I made the decision to change careers, and I won’t regret it regardless of what the future holds – I need to live life too and not just work.
oh you and me have walked such similar paths huni and I think we both agree that there is no looking back… you wouldnt want to for all the frangipani trees and decks in the world. Happy Birthday beautiful girl, this turning 40 aint so bad and I have a feeling that this is your year to shine… like REALLY shine xxx
Oh, you are super gorgeous, thanks Son! Your comment absolutely made my day yesterday. And yes, between us we shall rule the world – mwahahahahahahahahaha! xxxxx
Happy birthday – yes I’m hoping the money will follow too!
Ha ha, it has to, Janet. IT HAS TO!!!
Happy Birthday….and the money will follow 🙂 xo
Thanks Sam! xx
I think you look and sound faaaaabulous at 40, Carolyn. You’re proof positive that money does not make the world go around. x
Love, love, love this! And happy birthday!! I think you look fabulous and your outlook on life is spot on. Sometimes we reflect and wonder what if… and when we do we forget about the good things we have right now. Life is never perfect, but it is what you make it. Here’s to the next 40 years of loving your beautiful life. xxx
Thanks Jodi! xx