With little to do on Australia Day but eat pies and apply patriotic temporary tattoos to my children, I thought I’d try my hand at a spot of modelling. When I was a teen, I tried hard to emulate the looks of the supermodels we had back then – Elle, Cindy, Linda, Naomi, Christy. Now I look at the poses models are forced to strike and think, fuck me, who would do that?
Turns out I would.
How does one hone one’s skills? Learn from professionals, of course. I decided to google different emotions so I could learn how to nail certain looks. Here’s how I did. What do you think – did I nail it? (I think the cat let me down a bit here – I think she should stick to licking herself and biting the baby.)
ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that made me lol. Especially the SEXY one where you look like you are sporting a bad case of bung-leg. You’re bloody brilliant my friend. And you’re gorgeous enough to be a model.
Hey, bung-legged people are beautiful too, man! 😉
friggin awesome. I never thought I could love you more….. how wrong I was.
You should do one now too, so we can test if I will then love you more. 🙂
Lol. You have definitely got something there. Missed your calling for sure.The sassy one has got to be my fave 🙂
Mine too, Renee!
Bahahaha I love this!! Thanks for the early morning laugh!
Any time, lady!
Just quietly, I’d say you’ve nailed Intelligent and Sassy 😉
Oh thanks! JQ sassy was my favourite. 😉
Haha I can’t even make my face not look stiff and strange in photos so I will never be a model!
I hear ya, sista! You saw my face, right?
SIMPLY THE BEST!
Oh, you! I’m willing to open it up to competition if you want to do one…
Champage Carolyn, if you’re trying to prove how awesome you are, you have succeeded! Well played, my friend. And tell me, did you ever get the Sharpie off your face?
No darling, that was kohl eyeliner. Finally, I found something I can actually use it for. 😉
Bahahaha! I remember spending ages in front of the mirror with my friends, pretending to be models and practicing our poses. There is no way I would want to be a model, it’s too boring. When I was about 14, myself and my brother and sisters (there were 5 of us) were the models for the promotional material for a new car that my Dad’s work was launching (it was cheaper to get us than paying 5 real child models!) and it was 2.5 days of boring boringness. The only good thing was the free lunch where we could get whatever we wanted, something that didn’t happen very often in a family of so many kids! #teamIBOT
Yes, the reality seldom lives up to the image, hey? This whole thing started because I was attempting to illustrate to my nine year old daughter how incredibly stoopid modelling is. She took the pictures – I think she’s convinced.
Ha ha ha! That’s classic!
My friends set up a room with a fan to blow our hair for all those glamourous looks! I don’t remember seeing any of the pics, and I think that’s probably a good thing!!!
Oh, a fan – great idea! Writing that down for next time… And if you dig them out, please share, Jess!
hilarious! some of those poses – the models, not you – are ridiculous! no wonder women and society have this body image thing so terribly wrong. And what a lovely cat – he looks so soft and cuddly xx
Agreed, J! I am particularly perplexed by the intelligent one! The cat is a grumpy old thing – she keeps biting the baby (although, to be fair, the baby does pull her tail and laugh maniacally).
OMG you are amazing!!!!!! This is awesome!!!!!!
Aw shucks, thanks, SK!
ROTFL MY ASS OFF! Just snorted my (preservative free) red wine!!! You rocked that shit girl. And sorry but the cat has to go, s/he totally let you down. I do think the sexy looks like you have pulled a muscle and sassy looks like you are pulling up really stubborn carrots but WHATEVS – YOU ROCK xxx
Thanks lady! Totes agree – feline is a dead weight to my rising star. 😉
I’m loving the sassy look. That’s got to be a new dance step! Get your sassy on sis.
Sassy like a fox, bro!
haha omg! The cat looks like it’s ready to kill you lol!
Yeah, she has a permanent look of scorn. I’m pretty sure Grumpy Cat was based on our Sneaky. 😉
Oh this is gold! I totally see a modeling career for you as a possibility!
LMAO Oh you have nailed the sexy and cute lool. Supermodels – move over, their is a new kid on the block! You seriously crack me up you crazy chick! xx
You totally nailed it! It’s not too late to channel your inner Kate Moss. Very funny…
Nailed it. But seriously, what is going on on that model’s head in the crazy pic? It looks like a dead cat hat.
Hilarious!! I think you did a wonderful job…and you look so much more real. Love the black eyes on the first shot Cheers Tanya