Ask the life coach: how do I stop being a flake?

Dear Coach Mel

I just don’t seem to be able to stick to things. I love starting new projects. In the past few years I’ve started to learn the piano, done six months of a uni degree, and joined three different gyms…but then after a week, a month or a year, I get bored and I just can’t be bothered. I really want to find something I love to do and stick to it. How do I stop being so flakey? Fiona

Well one thing is for sure Fiona: you are not alone! We live in a time of such information overload, where we are so used to being constantly stimulated that it is no surprise you get easily bored and give up after the initial high of starting something new wears off. Combine that with a bit of bright shiny object syndrome and throw in a good dose of FOMO, and voila, it is a wonder we stick to anything longer than the time it takes for a Snapchat to fade to…um, I don’t know where they go, I’m too old for that shit!
 There are a couple of ways you can look at this problem. First option is to be more mindful and present in the moment. Yes, I know mindfulness is the latest buzzword (and responsible for making the many sellers of adult colouring books rich). But, truly being present in the here and now (yes, that means putting your phone away!) and focusing on what you are doing when you are actually doing it, helps you to be totally in the moment and enjoy yourself (although I am not sure this necessarily applies to doing burpees at the gym!) It is certainly harder to be a flake when you are consciously practising mindfulness!
Secondly, in the words of my literary girl crush Elizabeth Gilbert, ‘Be curious.’
It can often be hard to know where your true passion or purpose lies, when there are so many options competing for your attention. So instead, simply notice what makes you curious. Do you have a little twinge of regret that you gave up dance classes when you were young, and still love to bust a move on the living room floor after a glass or two of champagne?
Then, maybe exploring a local adult dance class is for you.  Does your intuition (and your friends) tell you that you are great at listening to people and helping guide them? Then perhaps start investigating different life coaching courses (it’s how I got started). In other words, you are far less likely to quit something if you have really taken the time to tune into what lights you up, rather than just signing up for the latest shiny course on Facebook (that’s of course guaranteed to make you a six figure income in 60 days!)
So Fiona, say goodbye to wasting money on unfinished projects and unused gym memberships, and say hello to discovering what lights you up and sticking to it with a sense of joy and fulfillment. Now that sounds pretty good, doesn’t it!

If you have a question you would like to ask the life coach, please email (sorry, no private replies but I am available for 1:1 coaching if you would like more in depth guidance).

Written By

Melissa Jeffcott is a certified life coach, writer, and workshop facilitator, who is passionate about helping mum’s to discover what brings them joy and purpose in their lives as their children get older. With a background in child psychology, and as a mum of three rapidly growing children, she understands the challenges associated with looking after the needs of your family in conjunction with making time for your own wants and desires. She also likes sleeping, wine, and Ryan Gosling (not necessarily in that order!).

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