Remember when you were in high school and one of the best ways to put someone down was to say they were full of themselves? In teenage speak, it would have been articulated into something along the lines of ‘Oh. My. God! I can’t believe how much I actually hate Gary! He is so friggin’ fugly and full of himself! Did you hear he made out with his cousin? Totally true!’
Obviously, saying things like that were more of reflection of ourselves than Gary, but why was being full of yourself considered a bad thing? Why weren’t we all striving to be full of ourselves? Has anything changed, or are we, deep down, still mostly insecure teenagers?
Personally, I struggled with self-confidence well into my 30s (and still do every now and again). I tried many things to boost the way I felt about myself, but not many worked, or had long lasting effects. I ended up developing my own strategies and they have kept me feeling on top of my game for a long time now. Hopefully they will do the same for you.
Confidence Booster 1: Write a list of your best qualities and recite them every morning before you leave the house.
Are you good at organising and getting things done? Are you good with money? Do you make others around you smile? Perhaps you are a good artist, or maybe you are good at keeping yourself fit and healthy. It could even be that your fashion sense is on point (sitting here in my mulit-coloured shirt that resembles vomit, ill-fitting jeans and mis-matched socks, I don’t think I’ll ever be claiming that one! Sadly, no, they are not just my ‘house clothes’).
Everyone has plenty of good qualities, so what are yours? Start with a list of at least five good qualities and build it up over time. It doesn’t matter what it is that you are good at, the point is to remind yourself that you are, in fact, good at many things. Things that many other people are not good at.
This exercise helps you to increase your confidence by building on your strengths, rather than trying to ‘fix’ your weaknesses. Focusing on your weaknesses will only make you feel a whole lot worse.
Confidence Booster 2: Visualise a time when you felt weak and didn’t want to face the world. Then think of a time when you were feeling strong, powerful and achieving great things. Make a conscious decision to be the latter.
A friend of mine recently posted a photo of me on Facebook which I though captured the ‘weak me’ very well. I was slouched over and barely able to smile. When I saw it, all I wanted to do was give myself a hug and then a pep talk about going out and facing the world like a boss. I didn’t want to be that sad, meek, vanilla person.
I now use that photo as motivation to stand up straight and be strong. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, I think back to that image and it snaps me right out of it. My friend has no idea how much of an impact that photo has had on me (she genuinely thinks I look good in it) and I have no plans to tell her because she would probably take it down. Knowing it’s there when I need it is good for my peace of mind.
Using photos for this exercise works for me but it may not work for everyone. If you do end up using them, I would be careful not to just pick any old shit photo of yourself (i.e. one where you look fat) as that will just help you to wallow in your sadness. Make sure to choose one that really encapsulates the ‘weak’ You. One that motivates you to become more powerful.
Give these babies a go and you should be feeling good within a week. One week! Money back guarantee.