I hesitated to write this post at first. I know I had a big old whinge just last Friday – and I don’t want you to start thinking of me as that chick. But I promise this post ends much happier than it starts – stick with me, okay?
The thing is, there is too much chaos in my mind. Too many things to think about. Work, sick children, school excursions, grocery shopping, bills to pay, social events, ensuring chores are done, birthday parties to plan (all three of my children were born in September – it seemed funny at first but now I realise I am going to be a bitch for a full month every year from now until they move out and plan their own damn birthdays). That’s my list – I’m sure you have your own.
Then a series of things happened yesterday to make me realise I’m not alone. That we all feel like this sometimes and that it will pass.
- I got to a café where I regularly have coffee with my brother Pete on a Thursday morning before I start work for the day. He had to leave early so wasn’t there but he pre-paid for my coffee. That’s it. I had spent the previous day being vomited on, administering various kiddy drugs, talking in my smiley-mummy voice and making sure everyone felt as comfortable as possible. Then I got to a café and they gave me a coffee for nix. I got a bit teary right there at the register.
- Then I read this magnificent post by Kelly Exeter on Mrs Woog’s blog and she summed up exactly why I feel like shit, when I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I thought I needed more help doing the dishes, but what I really need help with thinking about the logistics of running my house. It’s such bitsy work and it makes my brain feel like Mr Messy from the Mr Men books. But I will never relinquish control so I’ll just be glad that someone else could articulate how I feel.
- The fabulous Champagne Gillian sent me a beautiful email that listed all the great things I have been doing lately and told me I deserve a break. And I tell you what, when I saw all the things I had been doing lately, it made me realise I have been really freaking busy. And it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. And that I do deserve a break. Oh, and then I totally did cry in public a little bit. Oh well. I’m old enough to not care.
So that’s it. None of my practical problems are solved but I feel a bit better. My advice if you are feeling overwhelmed is to think of it as a passing shower – recognise it and let it wash over you. Remember that it doesn’t define who you are.
And share your feelings with your friends (or with us!). A problem shared is a problem halved and all that. All the best clichés are true.
Oh, and make a list of all the things you have achieved lately. Large and small. There is something about seeing it laid out like that that gives you a great sense of achievement.
As for me, I am planning on going away to a beach somewhere in October for a whole week and relaxing with my family. We will not be rushing to school or to kindy or to work. We will play, listen to each other and have no plans. Oh, and there will be wine. I can’t wait.
Something else I try to do at the start of each season (so four times a year) is to sit down and work out what is lacking in my life and work out a way to fix it. Right now I am lacking stillness and sufficient exercise – both of which affect how my brain works. So I’ll sit down with Husband and we’ll work out a schedule where I can fit in more meditation, more yoga and more runs (he needs to be on board because his buy-in means I’m able to leave the house without small people clinging to my ankles).
I’m also going to try to offer random acts of kindness to others. Knowing how much they have helped me today, you never know when someone else you know (or even someone you don’t know) can benefit from a small gesture from you. And making someone else feel good has to be the best feeling there is, right?