I love my rug: wise words about pubic hair

“Yeah, well, I LOVE my rug.”

These words were actually spoken by someone. And yes it was in reference to their unkempt lady garden.

This phrase was uttered by a ‘friend’. Let’s call her Magda.

(Incidentally Magda is in a mere 6% of the population who feel this way, according to a completely unsubstantiated internet survey, see above.)

Magda was under the influence of extreme excitement, and champagne, at the time. She was with a bunch of mates, on a fizz-fuelled car ride to an adult only event, and who doesn’t love a roadie, hey. Especially Moet in kids plastic cups! Genius.

140210 roadie

(Please note: in case you’re picking up your biro to write me an angry letter, there were no minors in the car with Magda. And the driver was stone cold sober. Sober as a judge, having to listen to all the crap being spoken. Excruciating.)

The dreadfully coarse statement was made in the context of a discussion about how much pruning one’s bush should be subjected to. What is reasonable and polite? What is attractive? What’s in fashion? Is all this waxing and grooming just another nasty little subjugation strategy of the patriarchy? Just another thing to make women feel bad about themselves? Hey…what are the porn stars doing these days anyway?


While many ladies choose to toe the pubic line and keep their down-there tresses to themselves, neatly primped into shape, some are quite belligerent about the free state of their minge. Cameron Diaz recently came out suggesting that pubic hair is there for a reason and should be left alone. Any money hers is one of those naturally neat, sleek blond beavers that doesn’t require so much as a single disciplinary tweeze.

140210 cameron diaz

According to The Guardian and the NY Times  these are the best of times for lovers of the wooly pubes and we can look forward to much shame-free frolicking, with a forest sprouting out of our undies.

Maybe 2014 will be a watershed year that will be added to the “10 most important moments in the history of pubic hair”.  Commemorated for the dumping of convention and abounding in much free-spirited, wild mingeyness.

I doubt it’s going to quite come to that but Magda and her afghan will be thrilled at the suggestion.

I laughed my arse off at an American Apparel window display a little while back. Marketing mastermind, don’t you think? Let’s create a bit of hoo-har with some hoo-hars. Haha.

140210 American Apparel

What’s the state of your feminine forest? Would you ring in on the rug debate?

Written By

Carolyn is the editorial director of Champagne Cartel and a freelance writer. In her spare time she is a long-distance runner, peanut butter enthusiast, and single mum to three incredible humans.


  • It’s 2:50pm and no one has commented here yet? What the?! I’ll “bite”!

    Seems I’m a 6%-er. Because ‘What is reasonable and polite? What is attractive? What’s in fashion?’ doesn’t even begin to hit my radar. Who can be arsed?!

  • I don’t believe the 6% figure – would love to know who they surveyed! Had this conversation on the weekend with a few friends while floating in the pool. One had tried the whole ‘nude’ thing and thought it was revolting – felt very exposed, another friend loves it and would never go back. Personally, I have enough trouble remembering to pluck my eyebrows – that would be just too much like hard work!

    • Hey Deb yah I don’t have much confidence in these numbers either. I reckon they probably surveyed a few of their mates (young people obviously), at a party, while they were all on the tequila. Don’t think the sample number was exactly representative. hahahaha

  • Only 6% – surely not. They must have surveyed Gen Y and it’s another WHY moment for them. Mind you, while I say I’m all for the Me Tarzan look, I do think a little trimming to keep yourself nice is in order. So it’s Jane meets Nanna for me. x

    • oh god yes, don’t you reckon? Although i do reckon she’s be one of those almost hairless people (lucky bugger)

  • Hilarious, this gave me the biggest laugh. I’m surprised by the 6 % comment too. I don’t dig the bare look at all. It’s completely unnatural and my life is not one big porno. I’m in the manicured (mostly) bracket, just in case anybody was wondering!

    • Hey Carla, glad you got a laugh out of it. I did have a chuckle writing it. I personally couldn’t imagine anything worse than a brazilian. URGH weird.

  • OMG, that they have even done a poll on this is hilarious. Very funny post. I sway between 6% with the odd trim but who cares except me and my hubby. And who has time for high maintenance haha 🙂

  • Its a once in the blue moon trimming for me… usually brought about by my kids saying what is sticking out the side of your cossie mum…. yes that did happen. On another note, if Cam is so particular about leaving her beaver alone and as nature intended, then maybe she should apply the same philosophy to her face… just saying 😉 xx

  • I once did the Brazilian, but was so scared by the whole experience I never went back. Imagine laying there in your naked glory and in walks a woman who starts with the open statement ” oh I know you, your child goes to school with mine, we where all talking about you the other day at the P&C meeting”. Well that would have given them something to talk about! Now I am in between the 33% and 40%, to be honest one a month I go 40%, yep at that time of the month, then for the rest of the month I ignore it

    • Oh Julie, that IS unfortunate! I’m sure my mother won’t mind me saying she had a similar experience when going in for a haemorrhoid operation. Apparently one of the nurses prepping her for surgery recognised her from the office my mum used to work in. Awks.

  • OK, let’s assume that the bush is back. Imagine that state of all those lady gardens after years of laser hair removal. They’ll look more like magney dogs than luscious mirkins.

    I saw an interview with Cameron Diaz where she suggested that women be not so permanent with hair removal because they might want to back one-day. It’s true, they might.

    I’m partial to a manicure myself. I just don’t get the concept of full Brazilians. If a man goes to bed with me, he’s going to bed with a woman, not a little girl.

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