I received an email from a friend recently, who said she didn’t get to bed until 2am the other night because she was cleaning her house. The bathroom and kitchen were a mess, the floors needed doing and the kids had left their toys strewn all over the place.
This friend has three kids and an able-bodied husband. She needs to stop cleaning.
What I find extra-interesting about this situation is that this same friend can’t find time to exercise, or to catch up with friends, or to take time out to get her nails done or go to the library or generally spend some time doing things she loves to do.
I recently had a bit of a rant about not turning into a martyr, but I feel the need to say this specifically.
Now, I get how this can go down. (Well, sort of, but anyone who has been to my house knows I don’t have this particular affliction.) It’s easy to focus on the everyday minutiae of life rather than stepping back and thinking about what you really need to feed your soul and make your heart sing.
“Yes, of course those things are important, I’ll think about them as soon as I’ve finished dusting my pelmets and polishing the oven element,” I hear you cry.
To which I respond, “Loosen the fuck up.”
Here are some wonderful things you could be doing with that time you’re using to clean your house.
Or, you know, you can make up your own.
The point is, the more time we spend inward-facing – focusing on those tiny details that really don’t matter – the less time we spend outward-facing – out there living the life we say we want to live. Sometimes it can be a scary prospect. Sometimes we’re tired and don’t want to think outside of our safe, regular, predictable little box, but it’s worth it. One hundred percent of the time, it’s worth it.
You will never hear anyone say, “I wish I hadn’t gone out and done something soul-enriching today – I’d much rather my carpets were properly shampooed.”
This doesn’t mean you have to live in squalor, of course. Tidy, clean – and please, for the love of Ryan Gosling, delegate to those other people who live in your house and make a very good percentage of the mess. I DON’T CARE IF THEY DON’T DO IT AS WELL AS YOU!
Then relax.
Or – my favourite technique – if your house is messy and you want to spend some time doing what you love to do, leave. Close that door behind you and don’t look back. Odds are that mess will still be there when you get back.
Are you a pathological cleaner? Does it stop you doing things you love? Or are you more of a ‘let that shit go’ type?
I am a pathological cleaner hirer.
Now this, I find acceptable!
This. Is. Brilliant! I do love a tidy house and mess can feel chaotic to me, so I just set myself time limits. Do what I can in X minutes, and then that’s it. Go do something else I enjoy. I do this regularly and it seems to work pretty well. That, and the fact I’ve hired a cleaner to do our floors and bathrooms once a fortnight. Hell to the yeah! x
Hiring a cleaner is the key, I reckon! I don’t have one right now and I am feeling it. Love the idea of setting a time limit – genius! I am also in the process of training up my little oompa loompas – some day they might actually prove to clean more than they mess up but that day isn’t close yet!
I love that feeling of a crisp and clean hotel room but I don’t expect my four walls to be that way. I agree, home is where the heart is NOT the heartache of chores and cleaning and polishing and dusting and….(you get the idea)
Oh yes, sure do! And I agree – I love visiting hotels for those crisp sheets and lack of clutter. But I’m sure glad I don’t have to do that. 🙂
I used to be a bit of a neat freak (before kids) but now getting out and doing something I love ALWAYS takes priority.
Good to hear! Looking forward to the blog post about mountain bike orienteering. 🙂
See that picture of the lady in the bath? I look exactly like that in the bath – except with nipples.
Now I’m thinking about your nipples.
I totally don’t waste time cleaning my house (but I hate that it is always messy).
You know though, if I had that bathtub I would be damned inclined to clean it- what a thing of beauty
So true, although I can’t help thinking about what my arse would look like from the outside!
I agree and I have an awesome husband who helps me clean ..well clean enough that we don’t live in squalor with twin 8yr old tornadoes.
Cleaning husbands are a wonderful asset indeed! x
There is clean and then there is over-clean. I can’t think of a single time that my house has been so diabolical that I’ve had to miss sleep in order to clean it. And my house gets very messy and neglectged indeed!! x
I’m sure your house is the perfect combination of magazine-worthy and delightfully lived in, Bron! Sleep time is way too important to spend it cleaning. x
****clapping**** I have been known to get one room of the house clean and tidy so I can sit in it and relax and forget about the rest of the house 🙂
Me too Malinda, but now my family is wise to it and they all congregate in there too!