Dear Jezabel Jones,
I’ve made a new female friend recently and have developed sexual feelings for her. I’m happily married but there is a little voice in my head telling me I should explore these feelings further. But what if she doesn’t feel the same? Will it ruin what could be a wonderful friendship? And should I tell my husband how I feel? I don’t want him to feel threatened. I still love him and have no desire to leave him.
Sweetheart, we are after all the fairer sex. Do not shut down these desires, but do think about how to let them flourish.
As beautiful as an encounter with another woman can be, extra-marital sex is, well, extra-marital. If you would not be comfortable with your husband undertaking the same, then let’s shift from fantasies about a girls night out becoming a girls night in, and think about how you can bring these desires into your own bed.
Your concerns are sweet, but misled. In 99.9% of cases, men are threatened by men, men are turned on by women, and are only going to get harder, faster if their woman expresses the same fetish for female-flesh. An expression of this fantasy could be a whole new pleasure for you both to enjoy as you tell your husband what it is that you desire.
I would caution you to do so knowing your limits, and being clear about these with your partner. A shared female fantasy can come back to bite should your husband wish to share similar desires for another woman with you. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, so be sure you build this new play-pen to keep it caged.
As for your friend, an expression of attraction is always flattering even if not reciprocated, so why not put it out there, and who knows, if your play pen can manage, perhaps a little menage-a-trois can be enjoyed by you all.