Dear Jezabel Jones: I need to get back on the horse

Dear Jezabel Jones,

I broke up with my long term boyfriend a couple of years ago now, and am feeling like it would be good to have sex again, but every man I meet just, well, isn’t my ex.

Sexless and single.

A couple of years ago! I can appreciate getting a little gun shy, but goodness darling, you are well overdue to get back on that horse.

First things first, your ex. Focus there for a moment. Ex. He is that for good reason. It doesn’t matter if it was your choice or his, an ex he is, and an ex he remains. He was not the man for you, so stop trying to find him again.

We all know the cliché of friendships; that they are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Well darling, the same is true of a shag. The next man you sleep with may not be the one you wed, most likely he won’t be, so the sooner you can get to thinking about a good time rather than a long time, the sooner your carnal pleasures will be peaked by someone other than yourself.

Speaking of which, I do hope you are still indulging yourself and that is not complete abstinence of all pleasure you are suffering. There is much written on the power of the female orgasm and maintaining its frequency, do not let that go to waste my dear, it is a powerful energy to harness and one that will do you well in your search for sex.

I don’t want you to let go of your morals or throw your standards to the wind, but I do want you to think long, hard, and with an open-mind about who and what can bring you some satisfaction. Thinking ‘good-times’, does he really have to be so tall, so dark, so handsome? Can he be a little younger, perhaps a little older? Does he really need the IQ of Einstein? Does it really matter if you don’t care for his line of work? There are plenty of good men out there my dear all of them open to a good-time. Perhaps think of what’s to gain by letting one in for a peep.

Want great sex? Ask Jezabel Jones. - Champagne Cartel

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